I’ve been listening to Untamed by Glennon Doyle. I’m intrigued by her stories, and by her assertion that, at age ten, we begin the process of setting aside ourselves for the sake of who the world says we should be.

I opened my email today to find this notice from my mortgage lender.

It’s weird that I have a mortgage lender who sends me emails regularly. Because it’s not like I am refinancing every year, but – he is very communicative and informative, and I appreciate that.

Periodically he will send me these emails that tell me the updated value of my home. I usually click the button in silly hopes that my home will be worth millions, but then quickly delete the email and move along with my day.

But because of all that I’ve been listening to lately, today I am especially struck by this image.

You can click a button to see your value.

Granted, I understand that this is your home value, but still. This is an estimate put together by an algorithm that tells you what your home is worth today.

It seems like our society today is ruled by this “algorithm” that seeks to define our worth. We pour hours into it, telling it what we like, what we’re eating for dinner, where we like to hang out; we click on our hopes for a better life through ads that promise happiness through a pair of jeans or earrings or a pretty mug.

Article after article states how teenagers especially are more stressed, depressed, and anxious than ever, because they’ve invested so much time and energy into the “algorithm,” but when they press that button to see their value (with silly hopes of being worth millions) the algorithm disappoints every time, with messages of
not ___ enough,
or a beckoning to scroll more to keep searching,
or a call to consume a product that would undoubtedly enhance their worth
(but doesn’t actually).

The only way to break this endless cycle of disappointment and feelings of worthlessness is to cut off the algorithm.
to name that it does not define your value.
to surround yourself with people who see your worth beyond your production/consumption.
to rid yourself of distractions and numbing agents that keep you from realizing that you

you

your value is beyond what any algorithm could compute.

you are loved and valued simply for being.
you are loved by strangers, by family, by friends,
by those outside the algorithm
those who defy the algorithm’s false declarations of value
those who see things in you that the algorithm will never see.

i see your ten year old self waiting for permission to be wild and free,
no longer chained by the algorithm’s dictation of what’s expected of you in false hopes of increasing your value

so be free, be you. perfectly imperfect, valuable, and loved.

see your value,
not in a pressed button,
but in the mirror.