For the past few years I’ve been in an echo chamber of people lamenting some variation of “when will people come back to church?” or “where are the young families?” or “how do we get people in church on a Sunday morning?”

TL;DR: Care.

I attended two webinars on Thursday, on “the future of children’s ministry” and “youth ministry THEN and NOW.” One looked at a brief history of youth ministry and reviewed the latest research on current demographics/trends in youth ministry, after which the presenter gave his recommendations on practical steps to take. The other was a back and forth between two presenters of how things have changed over the past ten years (and since covid); they suggested some things to STOP doing, and offered approaches that are more helpful in today’s landscape.

Both webinars were helpful synopses of what I’ve been saying in response to people when they ask the questions above. In the end, the youth ministry presenter stepped back, laughed a little, got a very sheepish but sincere look on his face, and said, “It really is all about relationships. It’s not that complicated.”

Care.

At a church council meeting a few years ago, church leaders were asking the questions above about why the young families weren’t coming to church on a Sunday morning. I responded, “Have you asked them?” “Have you reached out to them to see what’s going on in their lives?” They would ask ME how those people were doing, and I would respond the same…and encourage them to reach out. (side note: some people were vulnerable towards the end of the meeting and asked, “how do we do this?” i honor their willingness to admit what is also very true of our current social landscape – people do not know how to interact with one another. for help, see this resource.)

What I knew (from actually being present with people and listening to what was going on in their lives) was that people (parents, youth, and others) were (and still are) struggling. They were weary and tired and needed healing, rest, and play. But the *Church wasn’t interested in those things; the Church wanted more from them – money, time, energy, ideas, presence – things they did not have the capacity to give. *mind you, this isn’t any one particular Church, but the Church in general; the institution isn’t set up to care about these things

What I found was that if you checked in with people regularly and conveyed through actions that you cared, truly cared, without agenda (or expectation that they’d bring money or serve on a committee, etc), people would be more likely to engage. People crave a sense of belonging and want to participate in community…but only if it’s an authentic community of people who actually put action to their words. Care.

The most convicting slide shared in all the webinars said that SIXTY percent of Millennials said they would go back to church *if someone INVITED them.* Personal invitation goes a long way with this generation of young people. This includes Gen Z and Gen Alpha, who want to be invited; who want to co-create and participate in new and exciting ways.

Friends, there is hope for the Church – but only if we are willing to reach out to people in Christian love – in the most concrete form of the word. Go to where the people are, like Jesus did. Listen to what people are going through, like Jesus did. Offer grace and mercy in unexpected ways like Jesus did. Care, like Jesus did.