Recently I was chatting with a youth minister friend/colleague who is excited for their new youth ministry position and all the newness of it. their tendency had been to overcommit and not be able to follow through on some things. so i left them with this loving advice (that came out of nowhere): “Say Yes to Less.”

Great intentions often lead to busy-ness and a sense of being distracted by what’s truly important. We fill up our time so often because we want to please other people or to feel productive or needed. We neglect our *actual* responsibilities and especially the things we *love* to do because we end up being busy doing things that aren’t really our job. and sometimes…we actually take jobs away from others because of our good intentions to “help.”

My word of the year in 2025 is SIMPLIFY. I’ve been in recovery from perfectionism for about a decade now, and here are a few things I’ve learned as I’ve transitioned to a habit of “saying yes to less:”

• just because you think you can do something better, doesn’t mean you should step in and take over. instead, consider how you might support someone by being a sounding board or by sharing resources for them to consider.
• it’s okay to let things go. even things that you think are keeping the ship afloat. if the ship really starts to sink, someone else will step up. or, maybe the ship needs to sink.
• trust in the story of resurrection. some programs/events/activities need to die in order for there to be new life.
• remember that you aren’t the person solely responsible for saving the world. this is a team effort. look around you and consider who the people are who can be on your team. when you cannot take on a new responsibility, consider others who might be uniquely gifted for it
• prayerfully discern what’s most important to you. focus on that. everything else is secondary.
• if your first impulse is, “no. i can’t imagine when i’d have time to do that.” – trust that.
• it’s okay to come back to someone and say something like, “after considering your request, i have decided that I cannot say yes.”
• look at your calendar. (or make a list of everything you’re doing.) laugh out loud. maybe cry a little. but then be honest about what else you can take on.
• not everything you do has to exceed everyone’s expectations. oof. read that again.
• **this is something I’m currently working on: just because your calendar is “free” doesn’t mean *you* are. consider the energy it takes to prepare for the things on your calendar and the energy the things on your calendar takes out of you. block in time/space for preparation and *especially* space for healing and rest. (and play!)

Some resources that I’ve found helpful: the skill will grid; the enneagram; people in your life who remind you of your value beyond production; spiritual direction; strength training