The landscape of youth ministry is experiencing a monumental shift that parallels the larger systemic culture shifts that affect how Church is functioning today. So in this series of Youth Ministry Misconceptions, I hope to break down some assumptions and offer some suggestions for churches struggling with how to navigate ministry with young people through these shifts.

What IS “youth ministry?”
It’s simply ministry with youth. I think of ministry as servant leadership; as an attitude of humility that is committed to offering support for others, often a group of people or a particular community. As United Methodists we say that all people who follow Jesus are called to ministry, to love and serve others as Jesus called us to. Thus, “Youth Ministry” is sharing God’s love and grace with young people and responding to their needs in Christian love.

Many churches feel hindered from doing youth ministry because they assume that they need to hire a youth minister. An increasing number of churches do not have the financial means to do this, so they either give up hope or feel like failures in their ability to be in ministry with youth. Which brings me to Youth Ministry Misconception #1:

You do not need to hire a youth minister to do youth ministry. Let me say it again, you do not need to hire a youth minister to do youth ministry.

This is GOOD NEWS for smaller churches who have never been able to afford a youth minister AND for churches who have traditionally hired a part-time or full-time person to oversee ministry with young people.

When thinking of “youth ministry” people often assume that it means they need to hire a pied piper, a charismatic, energetic hype guy* to bring all the youth to the church. But that is NOT the case. Not only does it not need to be a *guy, but the pied piper youth minister doesn’t create a sustainable youth ministry. Once the pied piper burns out and/or leaves, what’s left of the youth ministry? Not only do we need to be rethinking about WHO we end up hiring (another post), or how to create a sustainable ministry (another post), but maybe, just maybe, you just don’t need to hire someone. Once you’ve come to that realization, either by discernment or by a lack of resources, here are some things that you DO need to do if you’re looking to be in ministry with youth.

1. Pray. God will make a way when it seems that there is no way. Prayer prepares our hearts and minds for what God will do. Pray for trusted adults to step up. Pray for the young people who you hope to be in relationship with. Pray for the community of faith, that they will create a space of belonging and nurturing for these young people. Pray for wisdom, openness, and perseverance.
2. Form a Youth Ministry Team. Youth ministry should never be done alone. It should always be done as a group of people, and include youth as part of that ministry team. Find adults (and some youth!) who are eager to be in relationship and in service to young people. Key characteristic should be: a desire to share God’s love and grace. Super important characteristics to have: flexibility, humility, openness to the Holy Spirit, willingness to be silly. Get together as a team and get to know each other and each others’ unique gifts and abilities.
3. Train the Youth Ministry Team in Safe Sanctuaries. This is not meant to be a set of restrictive practices, rather they are protective practices for both the young people and the adults who will be in relationship with them. The way that our society understands supervision of children is markedly different now than it was ten years ago, so it is important that this training strongly recommends that adults never be alone with youth. Always have a second adult present. Be in constant communication with parents and transparent with all communications with people under 18 years old.
4. Listen to and develop trust with youth. You can’t do ministry with any group of people unless you take time to listen to what their lives are like; their hopes and dreams, their sorrows and struggles. You can’t do ministry unless you do the work of building trust. Set aside space to listen. Show up consistently. Follow through with what you say you’re going to do. Communicate regularly. Be available.
5. Find meaningful ways for youth to be involved in the life of the church. Young people today want to be engaged and involved in things that are important to them. If there is space for them to be hands-on and use their gifts in a way that makes a difference, they will develop a sense of belonging and purpose which will make them want to continue participating. They are looking for these places. One way to do this is to develop mentor partnerships with trusted adults in the church to guide the youth in growing their leadership capabilities and learn new things. Reflect together with them on these experiences to help them explore what is most meaningful.
6. Be open and flexible to the logistics/structure. Youth ministry does not have to look like the traditional youth group meeting on a Sunday evening that involves snack supper, games, and a lesson. In many contexts, this is not the best time/format. Look at the many ways young people gather – it can be a gathering at a coffee shop or ice cream parlor, a park or someone’s house. It can occur on a Friday or Monday night, a Tuesday after school, or a Sunday after worship. It can be once a month or twice a week. The greatest news: *YOU* don’t make this decision alone! Let the youth and their families and the Youth Ministry Team figure out a time that works best for everyone.
7. Don’t judge – be curious. You don’t have to like or agree with how families choose to spend their time on a Sunday. But if you approach this with a judgmental attitude, you might as well give up now. Judgement is a barrier to ministry. Instead, be curious. Seek to understand. It’ s not your job to get them to conform to a set date/time. Reminder: ministry is servant leadership; sharing God’s grace and love where people are.
8. Don’t worry about curriculum. There are so many options out there, it is overwhelming to know what to choose from. But in the end, I don’t remember a single youth lesson that my youth leader taught me. I remember how they made me feel. I remember how they made others feel. I remember the experiences that we had together. There was no curriculum or lesson that i found life-changing. Spend more time on relationships and helping young people make sense of the world around them. Help them explore who God is and their identity as a beloved child of God rather than worrying about what content to cover in a lesson set.
9. Assess the needs of the young people. As you listen to young people and their families, note the things that they are lacking and/or that they are communicating as needs. Connection, Belonging, a sense of welcome, a place to ask questions…or maybe, it’s food, clothing, shelter, mentoring, tutoring, life skills training. Make notes of all of the needs you hear about and pray for how God would have you & your team respond.
10. Discern your resources and your unique ability to respond. Work together as a team to collect the results of listening and needs assessment. Consider what unique resources your team has (land, money, food, time, energy, community partnerships), and discern how you might use them to respond to the needs of young people.

Review and evaluate those needs and your response regularly. Adapt as needed.

If you would like more details or a coaching session on how to do any of these things, reach out to me at youthministry@wnccumc.org.