Anyone play Duolingo? Last August I went to Puerto Rico and I was embarrassed at the things I couldn’t remember from my college Spanish minor and the four semesters I took in High School. So *almost* every day since (thanks, streak freezes!), I’ve been practicing on Duolingo.

Sometimes it’s super frustrating when I want to move on, past the super long story about a bad haircut or a bad date; past the business ideas that Lily doesn’t like….to play the next level…but the level is locked.

It feels so freeing to get to move to the next level and not have to keep repeating the same weird phrase(s) over and over again.

The way that I understand mid-life crises is that it’s about feeling stuck, or trapped. There’s a desire to break free, but the rituals and habits and rhythms of our lives are hard to break free from. So instead of doing the hard work of changing habits, people either try to escape from their reality or search for sources of stimulation to avoid the pain.

Lately I’ve felt stuck in a lot of ways. The weight of the world is so heavy, sometimes it is all I can do to get out of bed and let coffee fuel my day until it’s socially acceptable to drink bourbon. Half joking.

But with the heaping scoop of grace I put into my breakfast protein shake, I’m finding that I’m also unlocking levels. In relationships where we repeat the same cycle of frustrations; in meetings where we talk around issues; in habits I’m trying to be more disciplined in.

So the invitation here is not to allow the crises of feeling trapped keep you paralyzed in a whirlwind of frustration, but to celebrate every little level unlocked.

Take a shower – level unlocked! Celebrate being clean!
Show up to a meeting you could’ve canceled because you weren’t sure you could make it through – level unlocked! Celebrate being present with others!
Admitting the real reasons for your actions – level unlocked! Celebrate honesty and integrity!
Sharing your experience and listening to someone else’s perceptions of a reality that is hard for both of you (for different reasons) – level unlocked! Celebrate safe spaces to be vulnerable and a willingness to talk through hard things.

At least three times in the past week, I’ve shared excitedly with a friend/colleague about feeling like I unlocked a new level. It’s exciting to break free, to get unstuck. And though the new levels will bring new challenges, for now…I celebrate.

—–

The link above is to my song, Aimless Wanderer. The bridge goes:
the more the things change, the more they stay the same
there is no escape from the hell of this game, oh
Aimless wanderer I’m calling out your name…
You gotta stop waiting….waiting…waiting on somethin to change. -Shannon Milea, 2024