Being Followed is Scary

I love walking. I do not necessarily like walking alone, though. I get that weird feeling sometimes like people are following me.  Not that they’re ACTUALLY following me. But they could be. And that’s weird.

But that’s not what this title is about.

I don’t sit still very well, and get distracted by objects easily. Which is why Palm Sunday is like the best day ever. We had the coolest palm leaves EVER this year. They were large (like, two feet wide) and sturdy, and made for great sword fighting. Which of course is why we have palm branches in worship, to commemorate the Great Warrior’s entry into Jerusalem on the large white horse. Wait…

So we were doing our usual “check-ins” in youth Sunday school this morning, where we go around the circle and share our name (or what we want to be called today) and what’s been going on in our lives. And, well, the “frond” as one of my youth called it, made it’s way into my ponytail as someone was sharing. Because, well, why not. #awkwardhairpiece

It was uncomfortable, so I didn’t leave it in long. But I noticed, eerily, that as I was taking mine out, several other girl youths were putting theirs in their hair. In a somewhat-mechanical way that made me go, hmmmmmm…

They follow me.


It’s scary, really, to think that I really, actually have an affect on others. That I am a leader. That people follow me.

I’ve always kind of been afraid of myself. Of the power that I have over people. Of influencing people’s thoughts and decisions. Because, well, I know myself. I’m not perfect. I mess up. I think and sometimes say mean things and do things that are inappropriate or insensitive or hurtful. Things that don’t fit with who I want to be.

Yet, I have an impact on others. More than that, I have committed my life to being in leadership, to helping people experience God, explore their faith, and grow together in Love as we co-create the kingdom of God here on earth.

It was a scary, humbling, awesome experience that in many ways jolted me into reality; the reality that they are watching, that they see me, that I am one of the influences in their lives.

Great and Awesome God, help me to be the person you have called me to be. Give me courage when being followed is scary. Take the bushel away so that I cannot hide your Light within me. Embolden me to shine your Love, especially in the darkest places. Amen.


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