On the road this week I finished the audiobook: Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.

It is full of scientific research stories of the aspects of belonging and offers some helpful practices that nurture a sense of belonging. I was listening to this book while reading Faith Beyond Youth Group & Holy Work with Children. The three together are a beautiful trifecta of YES! moments. As someone who struggled with a sense of belonging as an adolescent, one of my core values in ministry is to foster a culture of belonging – one that honors each person as a beloved child of God and as a valuable member of the body of Christ. These three books speak to helpful practices for nurturing belonging that I think are essential for those who work alongside young people.

As I’ve shared in previous posts, much of this work happens beyond Sunday mornings and requires intentionality in forming relationships. It is not a quick fix, rather a lifestyle of embodying Christ’s love which leads us beyond the church walls and to be present with people in their everyday lives.

Main takeaways from the Belonging book:

• Affirmations are SO important! Affirm people, genuinely, intentionally. Celebrate their gifts and talents and character.
  • How do you do this? Intentionally form relationships with people beyond Sunday mornings; pay attention; actively listen; care.
• Naming your core values helps provide direction in navigating conflict and in relationships with others. It helps you focus on what’s important rather than getting distracted by petty details that could lead to compromising your values.
  • i.e. Does it matter more what the acolyte is wearing or is it more important that the person feels like a valued member of the congregation and celebrated for their willingness to serve in leadership?
• Pay attention and notice/highlight each person’s gifts and capacity for participating/growing/leading.
  • Every body, everybody is a beloved child of God. Don’t discard or exclude people because of your bias or prejudice or whatever. Instead, open your hearts and minds to each person’s uniqueness and involve them in discerning how God is calling them to be part of things.
  • Be willing to change/adapt as needed in order to envelop new people.

There are several other key points in the book that point more towards conflict transformation and communication skills, but these are the main points I gleaned that relate to belonging, especially regarding young people.

What are some best practices you use to nurture belonging with young people?
What are some action steps you can take in response to these points?